DEVELOPING:Local Man Convinced His Fantasy Football Expertise Qualifies Him For NFL Front Office Position///BREAKING:Area Coach Watches Film For 19 Straight Hours, Learns Nothing New///REPORT:Backup Quarterback Describes Clipboard Holding As "My Craft"///DEVELOPING:Sources Say Team Chemistry Destroyed After Someone Changed Locker Room Playlist///BREAKING:Man Who Has Never Played Organized Sports Offers 4,000-Word Analysis Of Zone Coverage///REPORT:NFL Franchise Worth $6 Billion Refuses To Fix Jumbotron That Has Been Flickering Since 2019///DEVELOPING:Local Man Convinced His Fantasy Football Expertise Qualifies Him For NFL Front Office Position///BREAKING:Area Coach Watches Film For 19 Straight Hours, Learns Nothing New///REPORT:Backup Quarterback Describes Clipboard Holding As "My Craft"///DEVELOPING:Sources Say Team Chemistry Destroyed After Someone Changed Locker Room Playlist///BREAKING:Man Who Has Never Played Organized Sports Offers 4,000-Word Analysis Of Zone Coverage///REPORT:NFL Franchise Worth $6 Billion Refuses To Fix Jumbotron That Has Been Flickering Since 2019///
Tuesday, March 31, 2026·Vol. I, No. 1·Est. 2026

THE BACKUP PUNTER

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Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Unveils $800 Million Retractable Roof For His Office That Already Had A Retractable Roof

The second roof, which retracts in the opposite direction of the first, was described by Jones as "necessary for competitive purposes."

BY RANDALL HUTCHINS, SENIOR CORRESPONDENT · 2D AGO